It Turns Out I’m a Giant Bitch Who Thinks the Grass is Always Greener

So, this is basically a nothing post, since I’ve been too busy in the past couple of weeks to have an idea that is unrelated to scholarship.  I head off to a conference in a few days, so that has me preoccupied, plus I’ve had friend-related things going on – with friends near, far, and soon-to-be-far – plus I have a fucking boyfriend, which seemed awfully great when that whole thing blindsided me in November, but, in a surprising turn of events, it turns out that I hate having a boyfriend in the summertime, when in theory I should have time to have one.

No, seriously.  It’s easier to go out with him when my time is so structured during the semester, because the things that structure my time then are easy to transition out of.  It’s easy to compress grading.  It’s easy to bring a novel I have to read for class over to his house.  It’s not easy to compress writing, and it’s not easy to do my scholarly work while also attending to another human being.

Oh, I love him and he’s great and whatever, but seriously?  Making time for him has caused a severe uptick in my stress levels about accomplishing things this summer.  Because, you see, I am used to being able to be a workaholic in the summer.  You know, with weekend visits from friends and family thrown in for good measure, but how I’ve handled my professional life in the summer, oh, forever, is that I work like a maniac and then have fun when I have visitors or when I travel.  Only now there is this “person” who expects to see me on the weekends – EVERY WEEKEND – even on HOLIDAY weekends, like Memorial Day Weekend, which is some awesome thing for him who doesn’t have a whole summer stretching in front of him, but which historically for me has been a great time to get a lot of writing done while all of the generica [grad school term coined by my grad school BFF Medusa for guys who wear dockers and work at dumb office jobs] of the world are busy cooking out, and while in the abstract I am totally on board with that, in practice, dude, it’s cramping my workaholic style.

And that makes me cranky.

And it also makes me cranky that he thinks I’m having “fun” when I go to the pool to read, when I’m reading shit for work.  Even though I know that I’m unreasonable because pool>cubicle in terms of fun, and, of course, I am ostensibly “picking” what I read while I lie in the sun and take breaks for swimming.

But for serious, people: you will the majority of the time find me with a stack of journal articles or a theoretical tome or a novel I HAVE to read at the pool (which, an aside: please all of you go read Adam Thirwell’s first novel Politics, and probably everything else he’s ever written, though I haven’t actually done that yet, so I could be wrong, but I am pretty sure, as is Granta, that he’s a genius), as opposed to with some fucking pornographic best-seller.  My pool time is serious business, and I want people – i.e., The Dude- to recognize that the pool is my office.  An office with SAHMs, kids, teenagers, and senior citizens, but my office nevertheless. Which of course he can’t because I’m being an unreasonable asshole, given the fact that he’s trapped in a cubicle.

Honestly, though, I’m feeling pretty good right now, precisely because, taking practical factors into account, I begged off seeing The Dude tonight in favor of doing tons of work, even though in theory I’d have loved to have seen him, and even though we’d had plans all week long for me to see him both today and tomorrow.  (Now we’re just seeing each other tomorrow.) Honestly, I just am having a hard time negotiating the time commitment that he seems to require (which, let’s note, is very small, as boyfriend time commitments go, which is probably why things have been good).

If it weren’t totally crazy, and if I wouldn’t hate it (as I know I would), I would really like it for us to break up this summer and to get back together on August 12, when I’m back under academic contract.  Not because I want either of us to go out with other people or because my feelings for him are in any way in question – indeed, the feelings grow and grow, annoyingly: just because I’d really like to be dating my book right now.  And the fact that he lives 40 minutes away from me means that I can’t just take him for granted and work on my book all the time, expecting him to just show up periodically when I’m feeling uninspired.  No, because of where we live, we need to have “quality time” in the dating.  And I’m tired of dating him and of all the effort that takes, when I want to date my work, and to put my effort in there, which I know isn’t what you’re supposed to say, but seriously: I just want to be able to procrastinate without feeling guilty, and I want to be able to procrastinate without the consequence of not getting my work done because I am obligated to make time for somebody else!

Don’t get it twisted: I totally understand the irony of the fact that I am bitching about being in a relationship when that’s exactly what I want and have wanted; I totally understand the irony of the fact that my bitching originates with a desire to do more fucking work, even though my whole point with continuing trying to do the dating thing was to stop being a fucking workaholic!

And let’s note: The Dude is totally supportive of my work!  The problem is me, and me alone!  Well, except for that in my fantasy version of my life he wouldn’t just be supportive of my work he would totally sacrifice himself on the altar of my work, because, you know, I’d rather be doing that right now.  And then he’d stop sacrificing himself on the altar of my work, and not be resentful, the moment that I didn’t want it.  Because I’m a Giant and Unreasonable Bitch who can’t sustain a reciprocal relationship with another adult human being, and who expects people to read her mind and to coddle her, even when, especially when, her demands are entirely unreasonable.  So in that way, the problem is also him.  Ha!

Look, I was an only child until I was 20.  And I’m a Leo.  And, apparently, my Enneagram personality type also indicates (according to CF, I haven’t done the weird pop-psych research on this) that while I am the most fun person ever, I’m also entirely unreasonable, in search of what I think is fun.  And in numerology my main number is THREE, the CHILD!  Thank goodness The Dude is a Middle Child and an Aries (though I’ve not investigated the other fake personality things for him).

So anyway, all is good.  You probably won’t hear back from me until like June 12 or 14, because I shall be busy with my conference, nursing my jet-lag, and nursing my motherfucking relationship (I say that to be funny – I really do think things are grand).  But let this be a lesson to all of y’all who are desperately alone academics and whining about your desperate aloneness: you get much more work done, even when you’re not getting anything done, when you don’t have a significant other to consider.  And sometimes, what you really want is to work.  Be careful what you wish for 🙂

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The Parents and The Dude

No time to write because my weekend was taken up with the parental visit, during which The Dude was introduced to the parents for the first time.  The short version is this: The Dude loved my parents, my parents loved The Dude, and the whole thing was comfortable and relaxed and great.  Oh, and I made this as the main dish, and it was phenomenal. 

All in all, I couldn’t have hoped for it to go better.  The Dude said afterwards, “I didn’t think it would be so fun!  It was one of the most fun nights I’ve had in a long time!”  My mom said afterwards, “He’s so funny!  And cute!”  G. said, “He’s good.  He’s a good guy. Open.”  (G. also gave my mom the thumbs up after only about 10 minutes, according to my mom’s report.  My mom also reported last night, “G. hasn’t said a single negative thing about him,” which, frankly, is a big deal, because usually G. likes to say the negative things to my mom, if there are negative things to say.)

And me?  What were my opinions about everything and everybody?  On the one hand, I knew that it would be fine.  What nerves I had were really less about how it would go than about what it all “meant.”  Because I don’t just let dudes meet my family.  And The Dude doesn’t just meet parents unless it “means” something.  So.  On the other hand, I didn’t really think I cared as much as I did about it going well, and after it went so exceptionally well I was surprised at how important that was.

So after all was said and done, The Dude and I had a big phone conversation about us and the future and how happy we are together and lots of mushy things.  We’re not rushing into anything, and I’ve still got to meet his parents in the next week or two, but at least at the present moment, it seems like we are on a path to something quite… permanent-ish.  Which is quite a shock for both of us, and an idea that’s going to take some getting used to 🙂

 

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Oh, Spring Break, You Go So Quickly….

I can’t believe I’m halfway through the week that is spring break.  I’ve gotten some good work done, but I also feel like I don’t feel like doing the work that remains.  What remains?

• Revisions on an article, which are due by month’s end.
• Revisions on another article, to submit to another journal.
• Reckoning with the various pieces of my book manuscript and really making a plan to get the whole thing “finished” (well, in a state where it has a beginning, a middle and an end, so then I can revise it with the hope of sending it out).
• Send an email to the editor that expressed interest in the book project.

Basically, I need probably 3 solid days of work to accomplish these three things, but I’m feeling a decided lack of motivation today.  So what I need to do is really just to make a decision: do I take today off, with a plan of getting back to work tomorrow through Saturday?  Or do I force myself to do some work today, even though all I want to do is watch television and knit?  Oh, decisions, decisions.

I’m actually pretty happy with what I’ve accomplished so far this break.  I did some cleaning, I did some preparatory stuff for making my application for full professor (which I should note I feel like it’s too soon to do, but there are political reasons why I should submit an application in the fall regardless of my “feelings” – and since there is no penalty for going up and being rejected, it really is worth it to do it), I’ve gotten myself well ahead on reading for the end of the semester – only 3 books that I really should reread (re-skim, really, for I have good notes in all of them) remain!, I wrote and submitted another abstract for consideration for another MLA panel (I’ve put myself in the running for three panels, two of which are special sessions, so I felt the need to hedge my bets since I really want to go to MLA but I also know that if I want to get funded I need to be on the program and special sessions are in no way guaranteed, and that’s even assuming that I get selected for the proposals -although I do know already I’ve been selected for one of the special sessions, which is a combined allied organization panel, so I’m hopeful that will be accepted).  I’ve gotten some knitting done, too.  All in all, I should probably put a little less pressure on myself.

I guess the issue is that I know that once this week is over that I’m going to be slammed for the next 8 weeks, and I fear that if I “waste” this time with things like, I don’t know, rest and relaxation, I’ll regret it later.  Probably what I should do, though, since rest and relaxation are not a waste of time, is split the difference, and do some work and some relaxing, and give myself permission not to accomplish all the things.  We’ll see.

And really I do need to knit.  I’m just half-way done with the wrap I’m knitting for HS BFF’s wedding in August, and given the fact that I started on it in like October, that means I’ve got to make some serious progress for it to be ready in time.  Here it is so far:

What you can’t really see in the photo is that the yarn is flecked with gold, so it shimmers quite prettily.  Yes, I think at the very least I’m going to knit for a couple of hours right now.  Time enough for revisions once I’ve gotten some knitting out of my system.  It is spring break, after all 🙂

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A Much-Needed Break, a Much-Regretted Break

So, upon finishing up teaching (and doing a service thing) on Thursday night, my fall break commenced.  I have (had) big plans for this break, which involve(d) a lot of writing.

You know what I’ve accomplished so far?  Nada.  Zilch.  Zippo.  Well, in terms of the writing.  Apparently, I needed to take two days sleeping (like, literally: sleeping in the day and in the night) and in the interim reading crap.

Did I need to do this?  Probably.  Do I already regret it?  Yep.

Because I really need to write.  I can’t afford to waste this giant (for the middle of semester) block of time.  But I also needed to rest….

So I made a list, and I looked at the first major thing on it, which is slightly more major than I’d imagined it in my head.

Whatever.  It will be ok.  Tomorrow through Wednesday, it is on.  I will buckle down.  But it’s ok that I took two days for rest.  Indeed, I’ve got to believe that the two days of rest will be good for productivity (whether or not that’s “true” is another question, but I need to believe it).

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And Another Visitor on the Way…

This marks my third weekend in a row of visitors, and while I am VERY much looking forward to seeing my mom, I’ve gotta say, the three weekends of people has taken a toll on my productivity over the past three weeks.  After FL left on Sunday, I basically just took three days to decompress – reading novels (not for work), knitting, sleeping, etc.  Today I did get half of my narrative portion of my grant application drafted (though I’m sure it will need substantial revision, at least I’ve stopped procrastinating about getting going on it), but still, I’m behind.  And I realize that with school starting in just a couple of weeks (well, the meetings start on the 13th, classes don’t start until the 20th), and then with plans to be out of town three weekends in September, I’m likely to remain behind until October.  I do not love that.  October is going to have to be a catch-up month for sure.  Sigh.

Whatever.  My life is going to be MUCH less complicated this semester than it’s been since my sabbatical, what with shifting out of super-stressful service roles and having a very reasonable teaching schedule (for the first time in three semesters I will actually have a lunch break on the days that I do most of my teaching! and I’m finally teaching a bunch of repeat preps, after three semesters of, well, NOT having that luxury), I do have high hopes that the momentum I’ve built throughout this summer on the book project won’t be for nothing – that I’ll actually be able to maintain a research and writing schedule during the semester.  But can I get the manuscript completed and submitted by December?  Yeah, I don’t know.  It’s the goal, but I’m not sure if it’s possible.  I guess I’ll just have to see what I can manage in the midst of teaching and everything.

What is sick is that I’d really rather keep working on the grant as opposed to getting some crap done around the house for my mom’s arrival.  Ah well, maybe there will be some time for me to work on it some more after I get the householdy things done.  And if not, I suppose I can get those things done when she leaves Sunday….

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Getting Unstalled

I hate July.  Because it is in July that I start getting all angsty about the fact that the summer is Almost Over and soon I will have to start gearing up to go back to school, it is in July that there is the absolute worst weather for my productivity (living in a miserably humid location plus the fact that my biggest seasonal allergy is to mold means that all I really feel motivated to do is to take allergy medicine and lie around in air conditioning), and it is in July that I start beating myself up about all of What I Haven’t Accomplished instead of celebrating what I have accomplished.  Now, the good news for me this summer is I really have built fun things into my summer, and that’s grand, but then that also exacerbates the angsty feelings about not having enough time left and not having done enough.  Blech.

But so, as you might imagine, I’ve stalled out a bit on progress toward getting the complete draft of the book manuscript done.  I do think that it’s reasonable that I will be able to complete the two halves of chapters that I’ve already got underway, and (if I really push myself) get another chapter done by September 1 (all of the research and reading and outlining/argument stuff is done – it’s just a matter of the pesky part of writing).  But then, I still have either one or two body chapters to write, but I can’t know if it’s one or two until I read a book that comes out in September (the problem with working on contemporary authors is that they have a pesky habit of writing new books), but that chapter or chapters should write up quite quickly because there just isn’t much research out there on this author, and what little there is I’ve already read (which kind of makes up for the problem with the author writing new books, since at least you don’t have all of the pesky scholarship to deal with).  But then that leaves me the intro and the conclusion to write, though to be fair I’ve been making notes for those throughout the process, so I’m actually feeling pretty positive about how quickly I can manage to knock those out, once the body of the manuscript is done.  But I can’t kid myself: it is going to be a MAJOR push to get this monstrosity in a shape that I could submit it to a press by Dec. 31 (which is my goal).  And I might not be able to achieve that, even with making a major push – not while teaching four classes and, I dunno, sleeping.  But if I try, I figure that I can manage to get it done within a couple of months of that goal, which is still pretty great, frankly.

And while I’ve been a bit stalled on the book stuff, I haven’t been stalled on everything.  For example, I somehow managed to apply for an internal grant for which I actually hadn’t originally intended to apply, and I just learned that I was selected for it!  Huzzah!  So for completing an application that took me maybe two hours, and for agreeing to share what I develop (which I will have support in doing any of the tech stuff that is beyond me), I am a thousand dollars richer.  Really for doing work that I have been doing anyway for free for years (out of enjoyment more than anything, in truth) just because I wasn’t aware that I could do this sort of stuff and get compensated for doing it.  And this is the thing: I would so much ratherbe spending my time doing this sort of thing than doing the stuff that I’ve been doing for the past four years!  And sure, it’s annoying to have to apply for every little thing in order to get the resources that are there, but I’d rather spend a couple of hours doing a slightly annoying thing than spend my summer teaching!  Or than do work for free!

So anyway, that’s what has been going on with me.  While I’ve been a bit stalled on the book, I’ve been accomplishing other stuff in the meantime.  And next weekend A. will be here for our annual Vagina Power Weekend (do you know that it will be our sixth?!?!  I’m so excited), and then the weekend after that First Love will be here for a visit (which reminds me that I need to call him up and get him to solidify his plans because it’s not like he lives around the corner and his procrastination about getting a plane ticket makes me crazy – I’m not even entirely certain what days he’ll be here, which, that information would be nice to have not only so that I can plan stuff to do while he’s here but also so that I can plan my writing schedule for that week, because it’s not like I’ll get any work done while he’s here, and also he really needs to tell me whether I’m supposed to be going to his high school reunion with him, because that’s been a topic of discussion, and it’s not like I want to go to his stupid reunion, but if he wants to go I don’t think he’ll go if I don’t go with him, and so I basically need to know what’s up with all of that – by the way, don’t think it hasn’t occurred to me that it’s kind of a pain in the ass to have a close relationship with your high school boyfriend.)  And then maybe I’m going to NYC for a few days, and then school starts, and then one of my oldest friends C. (A.’s sister, actually) is getting married so I need to go to hometown a couple of weekends in September, and sandwiched in between that I am going to Chicago for a weekend for this, and then in October I’m going to see Fiona Apple in concert, and somewhere in the middle of all of this I’m getting my kitchen redone (which promises to be an adventure because I have agreed to use the Lebanese connection to get it done because it will cost me much much less, but that also means that I have no control over when it’s done, and it means that my stepdad G. will be here to supervise it, and who knows how that will turn out).

In other words, I really need to get myself on track because I’m a busy lady with a lot of things going on aside from writing a book.

 

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Leading Up to a Trip

This could be any trip – travel for vacation, travel to visit friends and family, conference travel.  It matters not the type of travel, nor the mode of transportation.  This is what I do:

34 days before the trip: Hey, I’m going on a trip!  I should probably figure out what’s going on with that… (This is especially the case with a trip that requires air travel, though I do tend to begin to think about all trips a month out, considering important topics such as:

• What will the weather be like?
• What will I wear?
• How many shoes are reasonable for such a trip?  (If flying) How many will fit in my tiny suitcase? (If driving) It’s not weird to throw extra shoes loose in the back of the car if necessary, is it?
• What will I bring with me on this trip?
• I wonder if my travels will be impeded by delays/traffic/weather/construction?
• (If flying) Holy crap!  I need to buy my ticket!

You will note that most of these “topics” are really quite open-ended and have little to do with the logistics of any trip.

14 days before the trip:  I am going to make a list!  Of all the thousands of things I’d like to accomplish before going on my trip!  Nearly all of which have to do with house-cleaning because I am ashamed of how I live when there is no pet-sitter to monitor me!  This list often includes items such as:

• Wash the windows!
• Clean all the baseboards!
• Vacuum furniture and stairs and the area rug and every vacuumable surface!
• Clean out closets and take things to Good Will!
• Landscape the entire yard!
• Reorganize all of my books!
• Dust!
• Mop every floor!
• And then all of the normal housekeeping things like cleaning litter boxes, doing dishes, doing laundry for the trip, etc.)

5 days before the trip: At this point, I realize that I have accomplished none of the things on the above list.  But it’s ok!  I have loads of time!  If I just put my mind to it I could really get all of that done!  Or the important things anyway.  And then I decide to:

• Hang out for hours drinking wine on my porch one night with KSFS (Kindred Spirit Former Student, who was a non-traditional student and so who is my age and who really should have been my friend from the get-go but we couldn’t be because that would have been weird and unethical and wrong.)
• Spend two days reading novels and taking naps.
• Spend an afternoon having quality baby and friend time.
• Spend the next day going to have a Ladies Lunch with another friend, do some accessory shopping and then some shoe browsing, and then, well, I clearly needed to go get a manicure and pedicure.  And then maybe I should start a new knitting project!

1 day before the trip: FUCK!!!!! FUCK!!!! NONE OF THE THINGS ARE DONE!  PERHAPS I MUST ADJUST MY TO-DO LIST:

• Laundry
• Dishes
• Wipe down counters
• Sweep (but don’t mop) kitchen floor. And the other floors are fine – surely!
• Litter boxes
• Aw, the cat sitter surely won’t care that the bathroom floor is disgusting… but I probably should clean the toilet, in case she goes to the bathroom.
• Who cares about vacuuming?  I certainly don’t!
• Baseboards? HA!
• Oh, clutter and dust makes a house home-y!  As do dirty windows!
• Close all closet doors!
• The best thing to do with the books is to stack them in neat piles!  Or jam them into shelves willy-nilly!  Clearly!
• Nobody even looks at the outside of a house!
• Maybe I should buy a bottle or two of wine?  That would make me feel better about the filth….
• Fuck!  I’d better pack!

This happens every single time I take a trip.  Which is why while I really like going to other places, I really hate the getting there.  Because I’m an idiot.

 

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We All Know What the Road to Hell Was Paved With….

My spring break is halfway over, and I have managed to accomplish a lot of knitting and to finish reading a novel for one of my classes for when I get back from break.  In addition, I’ve done some dishes, I’ve made an outline for that conference paper, and…. yes, that would be all.

Now, you might think that this is just fine, that I have loads of time for the rest of the week to get done what I need to get done.  Sadly, this is not true.  Because apparently I refuse to hunker down and do my work, and instead I insist that the time to socialize is now.  Between now and Sunday, I have plans to:

• Go on a lunch date.
• Go out with CC.
• Go visit S. and her tiny baby, which will likely involve us escaping for lunch, too.
• Go used book shopping with F. and S.

That basically leaves me Thursday and Sunday to do everything I’d wanted to do during Spring Break.

I’m an idiot.  There is nothing more stressful than taking a break during one’s break.

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That Sunday Feeling

BFF noted to me tonight that Sundays are my Day of Rage.  This has probably been true since I was a teenager.  It’s because Sunday is the day in which I confront the week ahead and I’m pissed off at all the things.  The week ahead holds grading (which I should have done this weekend, plus some more that I’ll get in), student conferences, plus who knows what else.  This weekend, however, I didn’t do anything.  Well, I did lots of things, but none of them involved work.

I did my taxes.  Yay refund!

I went to buy cat food and litter, and then, in lieu of spending a gajillion dollars on things I don’t need even though I really felt like spending money, I chose instead to spend 16 bucks on some new yarn and to begin making the “Stockholm Scarf” with said awesome (though cheap) yarn.

I knitted.  I napped.  I knitted. I watched an excellent Lifetime Movie, Sexting in Suburbia.  If you like crap, it is not to be missed.  It has everything: sexting, a suicide, mystery, a super-crazy helicopter parent, and an anti-bullying message.

I went on a lovely “date” with CC to see Shame and to dinner and then for coffee.  Let’s note: we both agreed that one should not go on a real date to see this movie, as it would most likely mark the end of any possible future romantic dealings with that person.  But you do need to go with a person because otherwise you’d feel like a pervert.  And you have to go to dinner after the movie, because you don’t really want to see it with a full stomach.  Also you’ll need to talk about it – a lot – after.  Basically, there are a lot of rules to seeing this movie.  Am I glad I saw it in the theater?  Yes.  Will I probably ever watch it again?  Doubtful.  In spite of wanting to see Michael Fassbender naked again and again and again.

I talked to my mom on the phone, I talked to BFF, I knitted, I watched the AbFab marathon on BBC America, I napped, I spent quality time with kitties, I watched a S&TC marathon, I ignored the Superbowl, I watched Madonna’s halftime performance on youtube, and I’m kicking a guy from high school’s ass at Words with Friends.  (One of these days I’ll have to tell you all about this guy from high school, but not today.)

And now I’m thinking about how I really have to go to bed because I’ve got to grade like a rockstar tomorrow morning, do student conferences, and prep for my fifth Motherfucking Tuesday of the semester.

So that’s my report on the weekend.  A weekend of sloth and laziness, but I do feel like I’m rejuvenated for the stupid week ahead.

 

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In Which I Would Make a REALLY Awesome Grandmother (or Ancient Aunt, or Weird Old Neighbor Lady)

So, my original plan was that today was to be a travel day.  Since the weather changed my plans, I decided that this should still be a free day for me – the mad work pre-MLA could surely wait until Wednesday.  And so my “free day” involved nothing that was a chore.  I only did activities that I wanted to do.  Those included:

– Going to the grocery store.  Turns out when you don’t host a holiday, you return home to no food.  Well, not no food, but no food that combines into a complete meal.

– Making a boss pot roast accompanied by roasted potatoes, parsnips, and rutabaga.  What?  You would like to know how you, too, can make this delicious dish?  I shall tell you!

Ingredients:

• Chuck roast (the one I used was about 1.25 pounds, but you could do bigger if you don’t live alone)
• 1 medium-large onion, chopped
• 4 stalks of celery, chopped
• 12 oz. sliced white mushrooms
• 2 Hungarian hot peppers, seeds mostly removed, minced
• 3 biggish cloves of garlic, minced
• dried rosemary (I feel like somewhere between a teaspoon and a tablespoon, but I didn’t really measure)
• salt and pepper (no measurements – I season throughout the process)
• 2 bottles of Sam Adams Winter Lager
• like 2 tablespoons of olive oil (no, I don’t measure)

Instructions:

1. Preheat Oven to 300.
2. In a pot that can go from stovetop to oven, heat the olive oil on the stovetop at high.  While it’s heating, season the roast with salt and pepper.
3. When the oil is hot, brown the roast.  While the roast is browning, and in between turning it, chop your onion and celery.  I went with a fairly rustic chop, as this is a pot roast, after all, and that’s rustic food.
4. When the roast is browned, transfer it from the pot to a large plate, and then throw in your onions and celery.  Maybe reduce the heat to medium high, depending on how quickly you can mince other ingredients while those are cooking.  Though there is some salt and pepper left over from the awesomeness of the roast, I did season the onion and celery with salt and pepper, too.  While the veggies are cooking (you want to cook them until soft), mince your peppers.
5. When the onion and celery are “glossy”, add in your minced peppers.  While those are cooking a little, mince your garlic.
6. Next, add in your rosemary and garlic.  After about two minutes, add in the mushrooms, and cook until they are browned.
7. With the heat on high, add in the two bottles of beer.  Bring to a boil, and boil for about five minutes.
8. Turn off the heat, and then stick the roast back in the pot.  Make sure it’s covered with the liquid/veggies, and then cover the pot (my pot is stupid, so I covered tightly with foil.  If anybody wants to buy me a a Le Creuset Dutch Oven, a big one, I will be your girlfriend, and maybe even marry you).
9. Stick the pot in the oven for an hour and a half.  When the hour and a half is up, remove the veg and the roast from the pot.  Let the roast rest.  We’ll get to the eating part in a bit.

Ingredients for the Roasted Veggies:

• 2 large-ish parsnips
• like 2 lbs of baby yukon gold potatoes (like the kind you would use for potato salad that you leave the peels on)
• 1 rutabaga (maybe a 1.5 to 2 lb-er)
• Salt and pepper to taste
• Olive oil (drizzled over, no idea how much – not a lot)
• 1 cup water

Instructions:

1. When you stick the roast in the oven, you move on to the veggie portion of things.  Spray a baking dish (roasting pan, whatever) with cooking spray (Pam or similar).
2. Now it’s time to get the veggies ready.  Peel and chop your parsnips and your rutabaga, and wash and cut your potatoes in half.  Basically, you want the root veggies to cook at the same rate, so chop accordingly.
3. When you’re done, drizzle the whole with olive oil and season with salt and pepper and toss so the veg is coated.  Add in the water.  Cover tightly with foil.
4. Stick the veg in the oven with the roast.
5. When you take the roast out of the oven, remove the foil, toss the veg around, and raise the heat to 425.  Let the veg cook for about a half hour more, until it gets all awesome and roasty.

Instructions for the sauce:

Now, once the roast is out of the oven and off on its plate with the mushrooms and celery and stuff, you’ve got the cooking liquid left over.  Put that back on the stovetop, with heat at high or medium-high (use your best judgement) and add in a tablespoon or two of butter and sprinkle in some flour (1-3 tablespoons?  again, I’m not so much for the measuring).  Whisk whisk whisk whisk whisk and cook cook cook until thick and delicious.  (Yes, this is basically a beer sauce.)

When all the things are done, you put them on a plate and eat them.  And you put that sauce all over everything, because it is awesome.

– While making the pot roast, I finally watched the Jane Eyre film adaptation from last year which… it was both great and, I feel, a failed experiment.  Why the hell was St. John (SIN-juhn) Rivers such a large part of the story?  That said, I feel like there is a cat named St. John (SIN-juhn) somewhere in my future.  That said, I think that cat is in line behind Uncle Tannous, Carlos, Kevin, and Reginald.  (Yes, I have gotten in the habit of naming cats that are not yet born, as I won’t get another cat until my two current ones are dead.  I might actually have St. John (SIN-juhn) when I am a senior citizen, which makes the title of this post even more appropriate).

– Also while making the roast, I began a new knitting project, an awesome beret, which I have completed, and which is AWESOME.  I sometimes think that I would be happy if I only ever knitted hats, as if one is a weirdo compulsive person, a hat is done in ONLY ONE DAY!  Problematically, I really want to make a scarf to go with my jaunty beret, and I’ve got like 300-400  yards of this yarn left, and so clearly I need to make a scarf to go with my jaunty beret.  And because I’m bored by “easy” scarves now, this means that the scarf will take at least a couple of weeks.

– Oh, and I spent three hours watching public television while finishing up that beret.  Oh, Michael Pollan with your Botany of Desire!  Oh, Front Line with your investigation of the life of an undertaker, including dead old people and a dead baby!

And I am so relaxed and so happy.  Why exactly am I a professor, again?  I should so be some old lady with enough money that she doesn’t have to work as a greeter at Wal-Mart.  I would be great as an old lady with a ton of money.

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