This could be any trip – travel for vacation, travel to visit friends and family, conference travel. It matters not the type of travel, nor the mode of transportation. This is what I do:
34 days before the trip: Hey, I’m going on a trip! I should probably figure out what’s going on with that… (This is especially the case with a trip that requires air travel, though I do tend to begin to think about all trips a month out, considering important topics such as:
- What will the weather be like?
- What will I wear?
- How many shoes are reasonable for such a trip? (If flying) How many will fit in my tiny suitcase? (If driving) It’s not weird to throw extra shoes loose in the back of the car if necessary, is it?
- What will I bring with me on this trip?
- I wonder if my travels will be impeded by delays/traffic/weather/construction?
- (If flying) Holy crap! I need to buy my ticket!
You will note that most of these “topics” are really quite open-ended and have little to do with the logistics of any trip.
14 days before the trip: I am going to make a list! Of all the thousands of things I’d like to accomplish before going on my trip! Nearly all of which have to do with house-cleaning because I am ashamed of how I live when there is no pet-sitter to monitor me! This list often includes items such as:
- Wash the windows!
- Clean all the baseboards!
- Vacuum furniture and stairs and the area rug and every vacuumable surface!
- Clean out closets and take things to Good Will!
- Landscape the entire yard!
- Reorganize all of my books!
- Mop every floor!
- And then all of the normal housekeeping things like cleaning litter boxes, doing dishes, doing laundry for the trip, etc.)
5 days before the trip: At this point, I realize that I have accomplished none of the things on the above list. But it’s ok! I have loads of time! If I just put my mind to it I could really get all of that done! Or the important things anyway. And then I decide to:
- Hang out for hours drinking wine on my porch one night with KSFS (Kindred Spirit Former Student, who was a non-traditional student and so who is my age and who really should have been my friend from the get-go but we couldn’t be because that would have been weird and unethical and wrong.)
- Spend two days reading novels and taking naps.
- Spend an afternoon having quality baby and friend time.
- Spend the next day going to have a Ladies Lunch with another friend, do some accessory shopping and then some shoe browsing, and then, well, I clearly needed to go get a manicure and pedicure. And then maybe I should start a new knitting project!
1 day before the trip: FUCK!!!!! FUCK!!!! NONE OF THE THINGS ARE DONE! PERHAPS I MUST ADJUST MY TO-DO LIST:
- Wipe down counters
- Sweep (but don’t mop) kitchen floor. And the other floors are fine – surely!
- Litter boxes
- Aw, the cat sitter surely won’t care that the bathroom floor is disgusting… but I probably should clean the toilet, in case she goes to the bathroom.
- Who cares about vacuuming? I certainly don’t!
- Baseboards? HA!
- Oh, clutter and dust makes a house home-y! As do dirty windows!
- Close all closet doors!
- The best thing to do with the books is to stack them in neat piles! Or jam them into shelves willy-nilly! Clearly!
- Nobody even looks at the outside of a house!
- Maybe I should buy a bottle or two of wine? That would make me feel better about the filth….
- Fuck! I’d better pack!
This happens every single time I take a trip. Which is why while I really like going to other places, I really hate the getting there. Because I’m an idiot.