I appear to have what I believe is a cold. I believe that this is a cold, and not allergies, because Footloose has reported a scratchy throat, the appearance of which neatly coincides with the appearance of my congestion. Further, two days prior to these happenings, CC reported similar symptoms, which I dismissed as allergies, and we hung out. So either we all have allergies, or we all have an awful end-of-summer cold. Breathing out of one nostril, it is not fun.
But so yes, the semester is off to an… interesting… start.
Teaching:
My classes are fabulous. They are full of students (which may not seem like something to brag about, but given the situation of some of my colleagues, this is something to brag about), the students are enthusiastic and excited about the material, and my return to a MWF schedule remains the best decision I ever made. I am very excited about what I will accomplish in the classroom this semester, and about what my students will accomplish.
Research:
Kind of on the back burner until mid-September, though I am going to try to get another article polished and submitted.
Grant applications:
I’m applying for two NEH grants, and I’m applying for an internal grant, too. All of those deadlines will happen by October 1.
Promotion application:
I’m applying for full promotion, and that deadline is September 15. I figure I’m about two thirds of the way done with putting all of that together, and I should be done-done by September 12. The process is tedious and exhausting, and I am totally flying without a net since I’ve had virtually no mentoring and since we are moving to an electronic format for the first time. I’m trying to convince myself it doesn’t matter if I get it.
Service and the institution:
This is where things get really interesting. Lots of Big Initiatives and Big Changes afloat at my institution. None of this is a surprise, though I fully expect many faculty to be SHOCKED and AFFRONTED and for the rumor mill to go into overdrive with paranoid conspiracy theories. We hired a new president two years ago, and in that two years we have had a massive administrative turn over, as is typical. We also have a new strategic plan, and we are coming up for our accreditation 5-year review. And we are revamping our budget model – which dates back to the 1970s – and assessment is HAPPENING although most people outside of the Colleges of Business, Health Professions, and Education seem to have been unaware that this was coming (huh? what planet have they been on?). And apparently we are also “revisiting” our General Education program.
And I apparently am going to be the Assessment Guru of my College.
It looks like I am back in the thick of things, in spite of my efforts to scale back over the past couple of years and to get the target off of my back. Indeed, I feel like the target is large and red and has flashing lights.
Whatever. If I learned anything from my work on curriculum a few years ago, I can handle a target on my back. I will live to fight another day, whatever this academic year holds. I’m not sure that others will be able to say the same.
Reassigned Time 2.0 
“And I apparently am going to be the Assessment Guru of my College.”
How horrible. Just horrible. (We’ve been going through this assessment stuff for about 5 years now. It’s awful. I would SO not want to be in charge of it. I can’t imagine much worse, in fact.)
Sounds like you are now accustomed to your multiple-boyfriend lifestyle!
If you can, as assessment guru, keep assessment tied to actual educational goals, you will deserve promotion to divine status. I have a colleague in English who has devoted himself to really understanding this, and ensuring that our practice comes from disciplinary norms, but instead of being grateful, many colleagues complain that we have to do it. They don’t realize how much worse it could be,
What Susan said. The head of my writing program can make assessment work this way, as can (thanks be) the head of a major accreditation-associated initiative, and at least one member of the centralized assessment office. I’m not sure that their ability to make assessment at least semi-useful and interesting, and mildly annoying rather than hair-pulling painful earns them any points with the higher-ups (quite possibly not, since the results tend to be as complex as the educational process itself, and don’t necessarily produce bragging fodder), but it certainly earns considerable respect from those of us low on the totem pole who are paying attention.
CPP – actually, I am in the process of phasing out The Mailman. As I had feared, he is not cut out for Academic Year Dr. Crazy.
re: the whether or not to “do assessment right”… the person in charge of ours basically said, “there’s a right way to do this and an easy way to do this, and the accreditors don’t want it done the right way.” So we’re doing it the pointless “easy” checking off boxes way, as opposed to the pointless “hard” way or the point-worthy(?) hard way they wouldn’t accept. And, doing it the right way really doesn’t add that much value to what we’re already doing, and it’s still invalid for accrediting because the accreditors don’t believe that exams are a valid way of evaluating mastery of the material (which makes sense in humanities classes, but not so much in MATH heavy classes). And then the accreditors have fights with each other and everything changes mid-accreditation. New different boxes to check! Ugh. And we’ll do it all over again in another 5 years.
You gonna slow-no him, or rip his fucken heart out nice and quick?
Medium. My intent is not to string him along, but I also am sick and busy and I just can’t deal with him right now. I did tell him directly that I need him “to leave me alone a little bit,” which is true, because WOW can I not deal with his constant texting. I won’t wait longer than a week to have a talk with him about how it’s just not happening. But I need to not be sick as a dog first.
Constant texting sounds like a motherfucken nightmare. It’s like dating fucken twitter or something.
I don’t see why you need to “have a talk with him”. If he’s annoying and you’re not interested, then just text him back and tell him you’re not interested and to delete your number from his phone. Then immediately block his number. That you can do while you’re sicke.
Here’s hoping your health improves, your portfolio for promotion assembles smoothly and your m-fing colleagues who think they are all special snowflakes beyond the reach of institutional administration get a nice big kick in the butt real soon.
“I’m trying to convince myself it doesn’t matter if I get it.”
In the grand scheme of things, it doesn’t actually matter very much if you do or don’t get it. The supposed prestige and status that comes with the move from associate to full professor long since stopped mattering at most institutions, even some R1s.
What *does* matter, however, is how the evaluative process plays out. If your file gets evaluated ethically, honestly, and transparently according to the stated policies and standards of your department, college, and university, then whatever the decision is becomes much more tolerable (and, I suspect, very much in your favor). If, however, the process (as is all too often the case) becomes a chance for people to behave at their absolute worst and, moreover, to do it under the cover of weasel-words like “confidentiality” and “collegiality” (both of which are important concepts, but neither of which means what it’s supposed to in most academic contexts that I’ve encountered), then you have some pretty compelling evidence that your work-environment is a toxic one and have a decision to make about whether or not you want to spend the rest of your working life in such an environment.
For me, that’s the hardest thing about that last promotion process. I’ve seen so many people be brutalized by it for no reason other than it presents a juvenile chance for “last licks” to the people who resent anyone that doesn’t do things the way they do. it really has been the site of the absolute worst behavior in my department and at my college, largely because all of the usual processes of accountability (already tenuous) go right out the window and are replaced by skullduggery that would make Nixon blush.