Writingbolt – there really aren’t any “details” of note to report. We went to a place with an accordion player and drank beer and got to know one another. And it was totally relaxed and, well, just fun.
It stinks when you can’t reply directly to a comment. This is old blog tech.
Anyway, those ARE details:) But, they don’t make me feel relaxed. Accordions, like pipe organs, do not make for relaxing dining/drinking entertainment. I’d rather walk through Italy with an accordion player on a street corner as I pass by than sit and try to chat/eat/drink on a date with one. I’m not fond of concerts, either. Music has strings. My nerves are strings. Music plucks my strings. And, I may not be a beer drinker–no thanks–but I doubt I’d be any nicer full of alcohol. My tongue would get real loose, and I’d either charm the pants/skirt off the woman or F with her head til she went home with a complex and dumped her last drink on me. So, I prefer to fly nervous and sober.
RE: the accordions/biergarten business:He’s half German and I’m half Polish, and though obviously we’re both multiple generations beyond immigrating to the US of A, we both come from a place (the midwest/rust belt) that embraces the “what are you?” question as clearly meaning “what is your ancestry?” And we appreciate schnitzel and potato pancakes and sausages.
In other words, it was all good. Accordions and beer are a perfect complement to a first meeting for people of our persuasion, and, indeed, make one more comfortable 🙂 Klezmer music? A polka? I think we would both say, unequivocally, YES.
And while there was beer, there was not drunkenness or any sort of crazy shenanigans. It was all very… sensible and grounded and non-dramatic. And also, I do believe, awesome. Although one needs to wait and see with such things, as one never does know. Honestly, though, it was a delightful evening, and one of the best first dates I’ve ever had.
As Polish as I may be…and maybe it is from growing up with the most uncultured family branch and so many bad jokes about the nationality…I have little to no interest in the typical foods/drink and music. I am certainly not a polka or pancake fan. Nor beer. I feel more Italian, craving pizza sauce and pepperoni. I’d rather cry Mama Mia! than Oompa! or Ola’s!
I’d prefer something creamy and chocolaty, a milkshake, iced coffee or fruit smoothie. Something with character that might give me insight into the person’s flavor interests. Like going for ice cream. You can read a bit into someone with that. If my date picks a flavor I favor, it’s a good sign. That or I’m just fussy:P
As for ambiance in music, I’d prefer something a bit softer and more soothing…harp, flute or even a nice Latin acoustic guitar. Something to get my juices flowing. Polka does NOT do that:P And, the beer would just add headache to injury. Yoddlayddl-doh-ddl-lay-ddl-yo-ddl-ooh…
I’d prefer the sounds of nature, a gentle breeze, a babbling brook, the rustling of trees, the surf caressing the beach or a sweet-sounding bird…to most music. Music might be more acceptable in a more intimate setting. Like a home stereo dinner for two. Even at a party, I get a lil headache from competing with the music while trying to chat with people.
Flavia: touche (I don’t know how to make the accent in wordpress). Future post coming about how it’s shocking that I like anybody in the dating world 🙂
Writingbolt: re: immigrating, neither of us actually COME from Germany or Poland or whatever, and nor do our parents, thus we don’t have actual cultural “reasons” for loving the things like the accordion (like from the mother-country or something), like in the way that my stepdad loves certain singers or songs from Lebanon, because, you know, he’s actually from Lebanon. My point was just that our position wasn’t about ethnicity really but about local culture, if that makes sense. Seriously, I told him that if things went forward with us I’d make him potato pancakes and his eyes lit up like it was Christmas morning. Not unlike the way The Dude lost his mind that I made him kielbasa and sauerkraut (he’s also German, as are all the guys in my town).
Oh, also, worth noting that the “scene” at the biergarten had lots of awesome people-watching. I’m not saying I am super turned on or whatever by accordions and beer, or for this sort of locale, but on a first date I don’t want to be turned on. I want to have FUN and to have NO PRESSURE. Seriously? Soft and soothing would make me feel skittish. “Romance” has no room when you’re just meeting a dood. I need to know somebody more before I want the slow jams.
Oh, right. Neither my family branch. Though, I do know now of a branch that did come from Poland and started various businesses here. I feel embarrassed already forgetting the details…but I think they started in coal, clearing the land of rocks, and then went into farming. We have butchers, dairy and beef farmers.
I can’t say you or anyone could really excite me with any cooking:P I like food. I like to eat. I have my preferences/interests. But, could you make anything that would excite me? I doubt it:) I’d just be happy to have a good chili, spaghetti or pizza now and then. I’d smile from chocolate pudding or be happy to see a plate of freshly made chocolate chip cookies. But, I doubt I’ll roll over and purr from any cooking. I’d just be happy someone thought to cook for me…or, us.
Hmm. I would only enjoy people watching if we were doing one of two things. 1) Being Steve C. and Tina Fey in “Date Night”, making up stories for what the people are doing/saying. Or, 2) scoping out an agreeable third for a threesome:P hehe I find people who spend too much time gawking and finding fault or reason to discuss others passing by bothersome. It spawns the very judgement people snap at me about. I don’t want to encourage that anymore than I want to encourage drinking to be social. Besides, I am there to get to know YOU (or whoever) and for you to learn more about me. Isn’t it taboo to be looking around at other “attractive” being on a date?
I don’t want pressure, either. Which is why the pace or setting has to be calming. Accordions are not calming:P They yip and YELP. They make you want to polka. Right? If you’re the dancing sort, I’d prefer to play some techno and get silly under colored lights. But, I wouldn’t be learning or sharing much information. Nor trying to eat/drink anything. I’d just be killing time making a fool of myself on a dance floor with other people bumping and grinding for different reasons.
A dood?:P You want to break out some crayons and write poorly on the walls?:)
I didn’t say slow romantic music. But, heck, any slow music could turn something romantic. No. I just find softer, slower music less distracting. Just like I’d rather meet someone somewhere less “busy” so I am not competing or distracted by other voices. I get such headaches at big parties or business socials when I am talking to someone with five women or some stuck-up businessmen gabbing behind me. The softer music is like a gentle shoulder massage, telling me to relax. It frees my mind so I may better decide if I should stay or go. I don’t want annoying or hectic noise deciding that for me.
Klezmer music is fucken awesome! The Budapest Klezmer Band is my favorite:
And Writingbolt, what’s with all the gross objectification of women on your blogge? The way that you talk about women and your obsessively detailed stated preferences for their characteristics is seriously creepy.
Hooray for fun dates! I had a number of fun dates back when I was doing the online dating thing, and though none of those doods turned out to be long-lasting relationships, I look back on the dates and the doods fondly, and I hope they do, too.
I went to a polka thing with some friends a couple of years ago, and it was way fun. They danced (because they know how), and I hung out, and people were friendly and lively. It sounds like a fun date!
Comrade Pissmeoff, perhaps you’d like to discuss your more leisurely, less specific sexual (because I don’t imagine you as a romantic) interests in the opposite (or same sex if you prefer that) elsewhere rather than attacking me on someone else’s blog post.
Dear writingbolt, Comradde PhysioProffe was not “attacking” you by observing that your blog contains “gross objectification of women” or that your likings are “obsessively detailed” on your blog. You imply that CP’s comment was unfair or cowardly, but when you discussed your romantic preferences in this venue, you invited Dr. Crazy’s readers to see how you describe those preferences on your blog, where they are detailed in a way that is obsessive and, yes, “seriously creepy.”
How’s about this, pals: let’s not discuss Writingbolt in my comments. I didn’t click over to his blog, nor shall I, and it’s all good. And Writingbolt: CPP is my friend, and so don’t call him names. And everybody: one good date does not a relationship make, and that is JUST FINE with me. Honestly, I’m just excited that I’m not sitting around feeling sorry for myself anymore.
Now, on to the music, AWESOME!!!! One of my best travel memories ever was seeing a klezmer band in an old church in Budapest (and then we ended up going to some “nightclub” that involved me playing drinking games with a rugby team of teenagers from England, and then going to a “secret” after-hours bar where somebody’s backpacks got stolen and going back to our hotel at dawn). And this was at a professional conference! Huzzah!