1. My mother worked. Both of my grandmothers worked. Thank goodness they all did, for otherwise their children wouldn’t have been provided for.
2. I have worked since I was 15 years old.
3. I have never thought it would be more awesome to stay home and “keep house” than it is to do something out in the world that is awesome. (I recognize that I am privileged in that I actually have a career that is fulfilling to me and that I get extreme pleasure out of pursuing, even though, yes, it’s a job, and there are stressful things about it, because it’s a JOB. But let’s note that there would be stressful things if I had the luxury of “opting out” in order to be a “homemaker.”)
4. You know who doesn’t have the “choice” to opt in or out, or to lean in or out? Unpartnered people.
5. Choice feminism is not feminism: it’s patriarchy in a fancy dress.
6. Yes, our identities shouldn’t solely rest on our status as wage-earners. But the reality is that the ability to provide for oneself is integrally connected to one’s FREEDOM as a HUMAN BEING, at least in a capitalist society. The moment one gives up one’s ability to provide for oneself – however excellent the reasons for that might be – one does give up one’s autonomy, and, at least in part, one’s status as an independent human being. There’s a reason that women are grouped with children and not with men, and it ain’t because they are conceived of as “equal” to men.
7. I’ll take the “opting out/in”, “leaning in/out” conversation seriously the moment that it applies to all human beings, regardless of gender identification.
8. I got a great birthday present today from J. Part of it was a kitschy pack of gum, the package of which reads “Raisin cookies that look like chocolate chip cookies are the reason I have trust issues.” The point is, if I can’t even trust a cookie (and we all have been betrayed by a cookie), how could I POSSIBLY put my whole life in another person’s hands? And think that if I did so that I would be their equal partner?
9. I get that it sucks to try to work and run a whole household and family. I get why people would “choose” to “opt out” of a career in favor of being a household manager. I get it, really. As a single person, I can tell you that it is HARD to manage my household without a household manager. It would even be harder if I were responsible for tiny humans. I really and truly understand the impulse. But seriously? Why would any person think that, in a capitalist society, it would make sense to let somebody else hold the purse-strings? That I do not get.
10. Also, read this: http://www.salon.com/2013/08/08/women_know_more_than_just_love_and_sex/