So look. I listen to pop music. From Carly Ray Jepsen to Justin Timberlake to Taylor Swift, I listen to the pop music. I can’t help myself. And I believe that one of the great things about me is that I’m not a music snob and that I enjoy the music of the people. And much of the pop music is awesome. But.
But even I have my limits. I used to think that Robin Thicke was a hard limit. Like a “use a safe word” hard limit. Why? First, in nothing to do with his music, he is the child of Growing Pains’ Alan Thicke and Soap Opera Star Gloria Loring. Lame privileged asshole. Second? My first introduction to him was this song.
EEEWWWW. The falsetto? Singing things like the following: “Tell me you don’t want me to stop/ Tell me it would break your heart/ But you love me and all my dirty/ You wanna roll with me You wanna hold with me/ You wanna make fires and get Norwegian wood with me./ I just love to hear you say it/ It makes a man feel good baby.”
I have, from him, contracted a venereal disease through my ears. For REALZ. And sure, a course of antibiotics is a good thing for a venereal disease, but then the song springs up on you unawares, and there you are again: back in the land of ear gonorrhea.
So Robin Thicke, right? I am prejudiced against him. He is disgusting. He might even wear this for underwear. I don’t know, but he could. He would, which I think, really, is the point.
But can Pharrell be the prophylactic for ear gonorrhea? MAYBE. Sure, Robin Thicke is disgusting, and sure, I don’t want to listen to his music, and also, dude, gross. BUT. Check out this song:
Maybe I’m goin’ deaf, maybe I’m goin’ blind, maybe I’m out of my mind, but this shit is awesome. Maybe it’s ok to have a social disease of the ear in order to listen to this song.
And maybe it’s not ok, much in the way that casual sex isn’t actually “ok,” but I’m doing it. Because I could listen to this song over and over again until the end of time.
(Seriously, though, the secret might be Pharrell. Look: he was a child, in all the ways that matter, and yet was the mastermind of this song, which yes, was a one-hit wonder, but I love it, too.)