Ideas?

So let’s say that in one week’s time you are going to be introducing your man-friend to your parents for the first time.  And let’s also say that you haven’t introduced anybody to them since the year 2000. And you’re going to be making dinner.  It’s spring, but the weather has been wintry; your man-friend loves your cooking, but he also has a prejudice against 90 percent of the vegetables in the world, and also you don’t want to make anything too heavy or or that takes too much attended cooking time.

In other words, what the fuck am I going to make for this dinner?  Ideas?

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Cooking, Wine, Cooking, Proctoring, and a Dash of Mortification

It’s been a busy couple of days.  Last night I had the ladies over for a delicious end-of-semester meal and (gallons) of wine.  More on the gallons of wine later.  For now, here is what I made for dinner last night.  You all should make it immediately.

http://www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/views/Double-Dutch-Mac-and-Cheese-with-Chard-352670

I did adapt the recipe slightly, and I will make one other adjustment the next time(s) I make it, but seriously?  This was the best Mac and Cheese recipe I’ve ever tasted.

Adaptations: While I used Gouda and Edam, I also added about a cup of Butterkase cheese (following recommendations to use more cheese in the comments); I didn’t reserve any of the Edam, but rather mixed all the cheeses together and had the layer in the middle all three cheeses; I didn’t really measure the nutmeg and the cayenne but rather just went with what tasted right; I also layered crispy bacon crumbles when I layered the cheese and swiss chard in the middle.  When I make the recipe again, I will definitely double the amount of swiss chard.  I didn’t bother with the bread crumbs; if I make it again I may try them, or I might just put bacon on top as well as in the middle.

Seriously, this is one delicious Mac and Cheese recipe.

So the ladies and I scarfed it down, in addition to eating a delicious salad with persimmons provided by CC and to yummy dessert provided by CF, while consuming the gallons of wine (again, which will come into play as the grand finale of this post), and we talked about lots of things and basically celebrated the end of the semester.  It was delightful. And then the ladies went home.

[Time passes while I make poor choices, go to sleep, and wake up with a hang-over]

7 AM – Time to make quiche!  For my Joyce and Woolf students!  Does this recipe require some effort?  Yes.  Is it ENTIRELY WORTH IT?  Yes!!!!!  I mean, I can’t even talk about how good it was.  And it’s no mistake that the recipe comes from a restaurant where I’ve had one of the best meals in my entire life.

http://www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/views/Ham-Leek-and-Three-Cheese-Quiche-234261

I did the recipe as written, except I used butterkase instead of the fontina, just because I couldn’t strap on another block of cheese when I was shopping. OMFG.  This was DIVINE.  And yes, I will not be eating “food” as such for the next few days, because frankly, after last night’s dinner and this morning’s breakfast, I probably have consumed the daily calories needed for a small village.

So, when the quiche was in the oven, I went over to the computer, and I discovered that beside it my copy of Barthes’ A Lover’s Discourse was sitting open, turned to the entry for j’taime.  Huh, I thought.  I don’t recall consulting with Barthes last night.  I wonder what that means?  Ah well, I am sure it’s nothing.

And then I proctored two exams, and really had delightful conversations with students, and it was all in all an ok day.  I’m done with grades for two courses, and I’ll have the other two done tomorrow.  Huzzah!

Oh, except.  You know those gallons of wine that were consumed?  They might have led me, once my ladies left for the night, to do some serious thinking.  And that serious thinking might have led me to believe that I needed to consult with Roland Barthes.  And then Barthes might have led me to decide that The Dude does not love me, and that perhaps he should just go away now, since he does not love me with a love that’s pure and true.  And then I might have thought it would be a good idea to get all of this down in writing, in the form of an email.  And then I apparently believed that hitting send was the only way to conclude my reverie. Tra la!  Time for bed!

And then I forgot all about it.

Until of course I was reminded of last night’s psychotic break this afternoon, when The Dude alerted me to the email that I had sent.  Woops.  And then I read over the email and the events of the night before came rushing back, and I was mortified, except for the fact that The Dude responded in a way that was entirely perfect and we seem to have gotten through the freak-out as a result!  Indeed, all that I needed to do was to express my actual (drunken, maudlin) feelings and he appears no longer to be freaked out!  When you’d think that he would be more freaked out because I’m fucking nuts! So let this be a lesson to you: 1) don’t email people when you are drunk and 2) if you do email people when you are drunk, make sure they are the sort of people who don’t frown on lunatic pronouncements and who will only find you more adorable for having made such a blunder.

And also: although I am still mortified, it turns out I’m a pretty coherent and direct writer when under the influence. Good to know.

 

 

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On Tracking (or Failing to Track)

I tried to start getting in the swing of tracking workload this past week, as well as back in the swing of WW.  Now, this was sort of stupid, as my week was all nutso because it was the first week back, I was trying to get back in the right timezone, I had stupid work-related social events that involved food and drink…. So anyway, I’m going to try to get back in the swing of things this week for real.

Some observations from my less-than-successful tracking week last week: 1) At least for the first month of the semester, I’m going to be spending at least 40 hours a week on teaching.  The problem is reading.  Reading takes time.  And while it might seem like reading isn’t “work,” the kind of reading you have to do to prepare to teach a bunch of people who may or may not have done the reading is, in fact work – i.e., not terribly fun or relaxing or restful.  2) The major problem with food tracking is having food in single-serving sizes that I’ve already calculated the points for, i.e., cooking at least one major meal ahead to get me through those days of the week when I’m a nutso.  Given the fact that I didn’t return from MLA until like 11 PM on the eve of the semester, that just didn’t happen last week.  3) I did get some research reading done last week in spite of the challenges, but no writing.  This week I’ve got to do better.  4) I’ve also got to get better about remembering to track the work.  Food is easier as I’m eating much less of the time, and I don’t do as much multitasking while eating.  With work, I’m doing it more often and I’m doing other crap while I’m also working more often.  Maybe the trick to workload management is not to multitask quite so much?  Something to ponder.

On that note, let’s begin the second of 15 brutal Tuesdays.  And yes, I plan to count down like this all semester, because it does help to see that I’m getting closer to being finished with this terrible schedule.

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In Which I Would Make a REALLY Awesome Grandmother (or Ancient Aunt, or Weird Old Neighbor Lady)

So, my original plan was that today was to be a travel day.  Since the weather changed my plans, I decided that this should still be a free day for me – the mad work pre-MLA could surely wait until Wednesday.  And so my “free day” involved nothing that was a chore.  I only did activities that I wanted to do.  Those included:

- Going to the grocery store.  Turns out when you don’t host a holiday, you return home to no food.  Well, not no food, but no food that combines into a complete meal.

- Making a boss pot roast accompanied by roasted potatoes, parsnips, and rutabaga.  What?  You would like to know how you, too, can make this delicious dish?  I shall tell you!

Ingredients:

• Chuck roast (the one I used was about 1.25 pounds, but you could do bigger if you don’t live alone)
• 1 medium-large onion, chopped
• 4 stalks of celery, chopped
• 12 oz. sliced white mushrooms
• 2 Hungarian hot peppers, seeds mostly removed, minced
• 3 biggish cloves of garlic, minced
• dried rosemary (I feel like somewhere between a teaspoon and a tablespoon, but I didn’t really measure)
• salt and pepper (no measurements – I season throughout the process)
• 2 bottles of Sam Adams Winter Lager
• like 2 tablespoons of olive oil (no, I don’t measure)

Instructions:

1. Preheat Oven to 300.
2. In a pot that can go from stovetop to oven, heat the olive oil on the stovetop at high.  While it’s heating, season the roast with salt and pepper.
3. When the oil is hot, brown the roast.  While the roast is browning, and in between turning it, chop your onion and celery.  I went with a fairly rustic chop, as this is a pot roast, after all, and that’s rustic food.
4. When the roast is browned, transfer it from the pot to a large plate, and then throw in your onions and celery.  Maybe reduce the heat to medium high, depending on how quickly you can mince other ingredients while those are cooking.  Though there is some salt and pepper left over from the awesomeness of the roast, I did season the onion and celery with salt and pepper, too.  While the veggies are cooking (you want to cook them until soft), mince your peppers.
5. When the onion and celery are “glossy”, add in your minced peppers.  While those are cooking a little, mince your garlic.
6. Next, add in your rosemary and garlic.  After about two minutes, add in the mushrooms, and cook until they are browned.
7. With the heat on high, add in the two bottles of beer.  Bring to a boil, and boil for about five minutes.
8. Turn off the heat, and then stick the roast back in the pot.  Make sure it’s covered with the liquid/veggies, and then cover the pot (my pot is stupid, so I covered tightly with foil.  If anybody wants to buy me a a Le Creuset Dutch Oven, a big one, I will be your girlfriend, and maybe even marry you).
9. Stick the pot in the oven for an hour and a half.  When the hour and a half is up, remove the veg and the roast from the pot.  Let the roast rest.  We’ll get to the eating part in a bit.

Ingredients for the Roasted Veggies:

• 2 large-ish parsnips
• like 2 lbs of baby yukon gold potatoes (like the kind you would use for potato salad that you leave the peels on)
• 1 rutabaga (maybe a 1.5 to 2 lb-er)
• Salt and pepper to taste
• Olive oil (drizzled over, no idea how much – not a lot)
• 1 cup water

Instructions:

1. When you stick the roast in the oven, you move on to the veggie portion of things.  Spray a baking dish (roasting pan, whatever) with cooking spray (Pam or similar).
2. Now it’s time to get the veggies ready.  Peel and chop your parsnips and your rutabaga, and wash and cut your potatoes in half.  Basically, you want the root veggies to cook at the same rate, so chop accordingly.
3. When you’re done, drizzle the whole with olive oil and season with salt and pepper and toss so the veg is coated.  Add in the water.  Cover tightly with foil.
4. Stick the veg in the oven with the roast.
5. When you take the roast out of the oven, remove the foil, toss the veg around, and raise the heat to 425.  Let the veg cook for about a half hour more, until it gets all awesome and roasty.

Instructions for the sauce:

Now, once the roast is out of the oven and off on its plate with the mushrooms and celery and stuff, you’ve got the cooking liquid left over.  Put that back on the stovetop, with heat at high or medium-high (use your best judgement) and add in a tablespoon or two of butter and sprinkle in some flour (1-3 tablespoons?  again, I’m not so much for the measuring).  Whisk whisk whisk whisk whisk and cook cook cook until thick and delicious.  (Yes, this is basically a beer sauce.)

When all the things are done, you put them on a plate and eat them.  And you put that sauce all over everything, because it is awesome.

- While making the pot roast, I finally watched the Jane Eyre film adaptation from last year which… it was both great and, I feel, a failed experiment.  Why the hell was St. John (SIN-juhn) Rivers such a large part of the story?  That said, I feel like there is a cat named St. John (SIN-juhn) somewhere in my future.  That said, I think that cat is in line behind Uncle Tannous, Carlos, Kevin, and Reginald.  (Yes, I have gotten in the habit of naming cats that are not yet born, as I won’t get another cat until my two current ones are dead.  I might actually have St. John (SIN-juhn) when I am a senior citizen, which makes the title of this post even more appropriate).

- Also while making the roast, I began a new knitting project, an awesome beret, which I have completed, and which is AWESOME.  I sometimes think that I would be happy if I only ever knitted hats, as if one is a weirdo compulsive person, a hat is done in ONLY ONE DAY!  Problematically, I really want to make a scarf to go with my jaunty beret, and I’ve got like 300-400  yards of this yarn left, and so clearly I need to make a scarf to go with my jaunty beret.  And because I’m bored by “easy” scarves now, this means that the scarf will take at least a couple of weeks.

- Oh, and I spent three hours watching public television while finishing up that beret.  Oh, Michael Pollan with your Botany of Desire!  Oh, Front Line with your investigation of the life of an undertaker, including dead old people and a dead baby!

And I am so relaxed and so happy.  Why exactly am I a professor, again?  I should so be some old lady with enough money that she doesn’t have to work as a greeter at Wal-Mart.  I would be great as an old lady with a ton of money.

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An Inauspicious Start to Thanksgiving

While embarking on the very first of many dishes I will make in 24 hours, I sliced off the tip of my right index finger.  And I still have 7000 things to cook and clean.  Hope my mom is ready to be put to work on her arrival…

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Cooking at Night

So, I had this brilliant idea that I was going to try a new lasagna recipe.  I mean, it looks delicious, right?  Of course, I didn’t really note the complexity of it – or the length of time it would take – until it was too late.  So.  I’m making lasagna at night, and I probably won’t be done until like 11 pm.  I’m a ridiculous person.

And no, I don’t know why I didn’t just do lasagna the way that I always do, with jar sauce and with the recipe I’ve been making for 20 years.  Well, except I do.  It all began when I learned that one of the people who will eat this lasagna is A Picky Eater.  And the whole reason I said I’d make lasagna in the first place was because this person suggested it.  So I felt a) a challenge to make something that would push this person out of his comfort zone a bit while at the same time, I was Being Accommodating to Pickiness (which I sort of hate, but whatever).  And I agreed to make the lasagna, too, because I knew I have Writing Group coming up on Thursday, so I figured that this would be a two birds with one stone sort of endeavor – I mean, really, once you’re making one lasagna, you might as well make a couple more. See?  I’m not going to all this effort for a Picky Eater!  I’m actually saving time and being smart.  Except, of course, I’m making a lasagna that takes like 75 hours to cook and has tons of steps and whatever, and let’s be real: I wouldn’t be doing all that if I didn’t want to dazzle the Picky Eater.

And can I just say that I feel that liking a picky eater enough to actually cook for one is really a horrible tragedy in my life.  I am a person who will eat anything and who is an inventive cook.  And I internalized a belief somewhere around the age of five that people who are picky are ungrateful and selfish, and also that they lack imagination.  (Yes, I realize that this is a mean way to be, and that I am prejudiced and awful.)

So yes, I am cooking a lasagna that takes 235 hours to prepare.  Because it’s the “smart” thing to do.

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Dr. Crazy’s Fabulous Chicken

Ok, as you all know, when I post a recipe that is invented, I’m shit with the amounts of things.  What you may not know, however, is that I never have a problem replicating my own recipes, so I think the issue is that I go by “feel” rather than by measurement, and my “feel” is consistent, even if I don’t communicate the measurements perfectly.  So.  Here are the ingredients I used, with asterisks for ones that I’m not certain about.

2 tbsp. vegetable oil

1 medium onion, diced

5 carrots, peeled and diced

3 cloves of garlic, minced

1/2 to 1 tbsp crushed red pepper*

2 cups* chicken stock  (I used homemade; I believe it probably made a major flavor difference)

1/2 to 1 cup pinot noir (the same one you’ll drink with the meal)*

2 chicken thighs (but I bet you could do 4 with the above measurements of other ingredients – ish – and it would be fine, as I ended up with probably what for most people would be way too much sauce and veg; if you wanted to do more chicken, then you’d just add more of the other stuff, I suppose), bone in, skin on

1/3 cup plus 2 tbsp flour (I used whole wheat but I’m sure all-purpose would be fine, too)

1 tbsp light butter (though obviously full fat butter would likely be fine, too – it’s just about what I had on hand)

salt and pepper to taste

Directions:

1. Pre-heat the oven to 350 degrees.
2. Heat oil in a pot that can go from stove-top to oven.
3. While the oil heats, season chicken thighs with salt and pepper, and then coat in flour.
4. When the pot is hot (ha!  that rhymes) brown the chicken in batches (as is necessary… this is more an issue if you use more chicken) until the skin is crispy and browned, a few minutes each side.
5. While the chicken is cooking, dice your onion.
6. Once the chicken is browned, take it out of the pot and put on a plate or platter or whatever.
7. Reduce the heat to medium, and cook the onion in the fat that remains in the pot, scraping off any delicious brown bits from the bottom of the pot.  You want to cook the onion until it just begins to brown, but I’m getting ahead of myself.
8. Once the onion is in the pot, peel and chop the carrots, throwing the carrots in with the onion, stir them around, and then raise the heat to medium-high.  Season with salt and pepper, and also the crushed red pepper.
9. While all of that is happening, peel and mince your garlic (I suppose you could use a garlic press, but I sort of don’t believe in them – basically, I feel like the fewer gadgets the better, and this is especially true since I bought my Knives of Tenure, which are AWESOME.  If you have crappy knives, though, you might want to do the garlic press.)
10. When things are about a minute from being done, throw in the garlic.  (Basically, you don’t want the garlic to burn)
11. Once all of that is done, then you want to add the wine, and bring it to a boil.
12. Once the wine is at a boil, then add the chicken stock, and bring it back up to a boil, and boil for five minutes.
13. Return the chicken to the pot, and make sure the liquid/veg is covering the chicken.  Cover the pot tightly with foil and stick it in the oven.  Set the timer for one hour.  Go about your business.

[But actually, if you're me, you set the timer for 30 mins.  And when it goes off, you head back to the kitchen and you dice three slices of bacon and throw them in a pan and make them crispy.  While the bacon is becoming crispy, you mince maybe a half-cup of onion* (I did half of a medium-sized onion) and you destem a bunch kale that you washed earlier and chop it to like 1 inch pieces.  When the bacon is crispy, you use a slotted spoon to take it out of the pan, and, with only two tablespoons of the bacon fat in the pan, you throw in the onion.  When the onion is soft, you throw in the kale, and you dump like a cup of chicken stock on top of it, and with the heat on medium-high to high, you stick a lid on it and cook it for 13 minutes.  Once that's done, you begin to make some creamy polenta.  (That's the recipe I use, but I like to finish with some parm and a bit of butter - makes it even more delightful - and I usually use skim milk 'cause it's what I've got on hand.)  And once the 13 minutes are up on the kale, you remove the lid and cook it until the chicken stock has evaporated.]

And then – like magic! – it’s time to take the chicken out of the oven!  And you do, and then you put all the veg and the chicken on a plate or platter or something, and then you bring the liquid back up to a boil.  Once it’s boiling, you add a tablespoon of butter and two tablespoons of flour (like, scattering it as you add it) and you whisk like your life depends on it until the cooking liquid (a delicious melange of stock, wine, and chickeny vegetably goodness) reduces and thickens to a nice saucy, gravy-ish consistency.  (This only takes maybe 5 minutes)

And then, you stick your delicious meal on a plate – chicken that is falling off the bone and yet the skin is not mushy, carrots that are divine and firm and yet supple, if that makes sense, creamy polenta, and the greens which have some tooth to them, with the crisp of the bacon.  And the SAUCE.  I could drink it.

And no, there’s no picture, because other than my problems with measurements, my other problem as a food blogger is that I always forget to make a pretty plate and take a picture because I’m so stoked to eat what I cooked.

Now, since I don’t know if the measurements are totally right, you might not be able to actually make this for yourself.  But take it from me: it’s AWESOME.  (I forced myself not to eat all of it – rather, I was responsible and put away all the leftovers immediately upon finishing my one serving.  And I was entirely satisfied…. and yet?  If I had not been doing weight watchers for over a year?  I’d totally have eaten every stinking drop and drunk the extra gravy.  It was that good.

And yes, I did all of that just for myself.  Not for a dinner party, not for guests from out of town, not for a boyfriend or for my parents.  Because you know why?  Sometimes it’s nice to do that sort of thing for yourself.

 

 

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Yes, I Do Still Cook Things

But I won’t lie: since the start of the semester “cooking” has often been “make a sad sandwich for dinner.”  And it was so hot this summer that I basically rotated a few salads and didn’t do much.  But the weather has been cool this week, and I feel like I need to make something delightful (and healthy!) as a treat for surviving the past three weeks.  So, tonight’s menu is….

A greatly modified version of this recipe (quantity reduced; no bacon; no “boiling onions” – ew; many ingredients exchanged… basically, I just like the technique for cooking the chicken and it will be a totally different recipe.) served with kale over creamy polenta.  And no, I’m not having people over.  But just because I’m not doesn’t mean I don’t deserve a kick-ass dinner to end the week.)

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Food

I have a lot more to write about my trip than this, but my dinner at Craigie on Main was absolutely the highlight.  I mean, seriously, it was…. just, I can’t even talk about it.  So rather than try, I’m just going to tell you what I ate

Amuse Bouche: squid “noodles” that i can only describe as heavenly.

Appetizer: six winter-point oysters on the half shell with a candied lemon mignonette.  At this point I was barely articulate and grinning like a fool.

Entree:  Vermont Pork Three-Ways: Crispy Suckling Confit, Grilled Belly, Spice-Crusted Rib with red beets, crispy red quinoa, pomegranate coulis, and foie gras jus.  I took a horrible picture of it with my phone and put it up on facebook because I was in love with it so much.  Tragically, because of the poor quality of the photo and shrunk down to thumbnail size, it looked like a penis on the plate.  Whatever, it was magnificent.  And I must find a way to replicate that crispy quinoa because it really was more than I’d ever imagined quinoa could be, and I love quinoa.

And then, in the perfect conclusion to the meal….

Dessert: Apricote Frangipane Torte with pistachio crust, grains of paradise, and amaretto ice cream.

The food was superb, the service fantastic, the wine with our meal (recommended by our server) and wine with dessert (a pairing chosen by the chef) perfect, and the company (I went with BFF and FBA) divine.

It was, as a dining experience, my fantasy made real, which I know sounds like hyperbole, but seriously, I can’t say it any other way.  It was perfection.  (Also: we all ordered different things, and I can attest to the fact that FBA had the most perfectly cooked halibut I’ve ever tasted and the hangar steak that BFF ordered was the Platonic ideal of steak.)

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Writing Group Menu

It’s the final writing group meeting of the semester this week…. and I’ve decided on the menu.

City chicken (if you don’t know what this is, it’s cubed pork/veal on a skewer that is then breaded, fried, and baked).  It was quite possibly my absolute favorite thing as a child.  I mean, what’s not to love? Fried pork and veal on a STICK!  I’ve done some research and apparently this dish is a geographic invention of the rust belt from the Great Depression when chicken was expensive.

Cabbage and beet salad with a lemon vinaigrette, which is actually a Lebanese recipe, but is cole-slaw-like and yet I like it better than regular cole slaw.

Home-made cornbread (because I’ve been jonesing for cornbread).

I wish that I could make and consume all of this food right this minute.  However, I must go for a walk (in order to try to compensate for the fried meat on a stick I’ll be eating this week) and then get to campus where I have an afternoon of meetings waiting for me.

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