So it’s been a couple of months with The Dude and me, and it’s worth noting that typically I don’t last that long in something real. Today was a big milestone in that it was the first introduction of an outside person into our budding romance: we watched football with CC, my dear friend, who loves the football and whose boyfriend/fiance isn’t interested in it. I still haven’t consulted with her about her thoughts about him, though I will do so tomorrow.
All in all, I think that this first friend introduction was successful. I will say, I do think that The Dude and I perform for others. I notice this when we go out to restaurants or do anything, even when it’s with strangers, but I noticed it in the context of my house with my friend more. It’s not bad… it’s just… clearly we perform. And we perform a particular version of our relationship, which is a little… I dunno… combative. Funny, but combative. Like we think we’re actors in some kind of a screwball comedy or something. It’s not inauthentic, but it is “us” on a stage. And we never decided on that or something, but clearly it’s what we do.
I will say that I was a little surprised by some of the screwball-comedy-style moves that The Dude made in front of/to my friend, in that they were a lot more “serious” in terms of our relationship than I’d have expected him to make in front of anybody but me. That said, I do love that he made those comments without being self-conscious, and that he made them in the service of a laugh. But DUDE. It’s been only a couple of months. And I know that we ourselves are on an accelerated schedule, but most (all) guys I’ve dated NEVER would have said those things to a friend of mine. EVER. (Nothing untoward: just commitment-style things.)
All that said? The weirdest thing about the whole thing is that I realized I didn’t give a shit about what CC thinks about him. Which is kind of a big deal, in that I’ve always worried about how people would perceive those I choose to date. But with The Dude? Honestly, I’m madly in love, and I don’t give a shit about what other people think. I never imagined that I could feel this way about another person. He is my favorite person. Like, EVER. Not that he’s perfect – he’s not. But all the things about him? They are good for me. And I trust him. And I never trust anybody. So.
Let’s just hope that neither one of us fucks it up, because, probably, this is the best either of us can probably hope for