It had to happen sometime, and last night was the night. Makes sense. At a month in, this is generally a prime time for freaking out in a relationship. And no, it wasn’t me doing the freaking out. And, to be fair, the freak-out was very adult and measured, and I think we actually ended up having a good conversation about fears and anxieties, and it only took like 25 minutes at the beginning of what was otherwise a very enjoyable evening.
The short version:
The Dude: I love you, this is going too fast, we need to get to know each other better, I don’t want to be crushed like a bug on a windshield, I think we should see each other less and I want to spend more time with you (even though that makes no sense at all), really this has nothing to do with you and I’m just stressed about other stuff, no – I really do want to see you this weekend (after I suggested that we need not), you’re going to be gone the whole weekend before Christmas?!?! I don’t like that…. but you’re coming back on Christmas day? I want to see you that night! Are we good?
Me: Yep, we’re good. (I did say more than that, but as this was his freak-out and not mine, what I said isn’t terribly material at this moment.)
And I think we are good, actually. I mean, he clearly is deeply confused, but then I’m not NOT confused, so that’s fine. But I shall be backing off for the time being. I mean, I’m still in love and all, but if he is interested in slowing things down, then that’s what he’ll get. We’ll see how he likes that.
And I also might have absconded with his favorite Steelers long-sleeved t-shirt, and I don’t intend to return it, in spite of claims that I made to the contrary.