The dream is, in a nutshell, this:
I’m in my-house-but-it’s-not-my-house (or, as last night, my-office-at-school-but-it’s-not-my-office). This space is “mine” but it turns out there are entrances I wasn’t aware existed (sometimes an additional door, sometimes a weird hole in the wall or window that I can’t close), and there are all of these people who are in my space (typically partying, or using the phone, or just hanging out when I need to get stuff done). I try to get them out (with escalating language and levels of force), but as soon as I shuttle them out of one entrance, they find their way in through another. When I try to appeal to some authority (the police, my department chair, whatever) to get the people out, they basically look at me like I’m talking gibberish and do nothing. And it goes ON and ON and ON, and often, because this is a dream I’ve been having for like 15 YEARS, I actually know it’s a dream, and I think I wake up, but then I’m still in the dream, until, ultimately, I finally wake up with my heart racing and totally freaked out that maybe there are actually intruders in my real-life house.
What it means is pretty transparent: I feel like I’m being pulled in too many directions, like I’m not in control, like too many people/things are interfering with whatever it is that I want to be doing, like I don’t have support or protection from people who are supposed to be there for support or protection, blah blAH BLAH.
The only good thing I can say for this dream is that it does seem to have entirely replaced the dream where I would be driving a car where I had no control over speed or steering (I had that dream for the first time when I was like three years old and I had it periodically up through college), and the one that I had during college and grad school where I would be in a house-but-not-my-house and the floor would suddenly become the ocean and I would be drowning.
So, yay, I guess, that I’m no longer in danger of grave injury or death in my control-freak-stress-dream, but still, I would prefer it if my subconscious would change things up again. Especially since I typically now know I’m dreaming and yet still can’t wake up from it. Seriously: Bored now.
I suppose I should finish up that chapter I’m working on, if only as a preventative measure against having this stupid-ass dream again tonight.