My little bro confirmed for me yesterday (via text, the only way we communicate) that these kids today do not talk on the telephone. He’s 16, and he likes to consult with me for relationship advice, via text, although, let’s note, as I’m single and 38, I might not be the best source. Yet, he enjoys my “girl perspective.”
At any rate, so there’s a girl, blah blah blah, and I said, “You know, this is the sort of thing that would be handled by phone when I was a teenager.” He lol’ed at me, because he only talks on the phone to his mother, apparently. But the point is: the phone is SO GOOD for hashing out dumb teenaged “do you like me? should we go out?” stuff! I feel like some retro-loving teen should bring this back, because it’s a pain in the ass to talk in person about such matters, AND texting is just not adequate to handle it.
(Little Bro does not agree. But he is wrong. In spite of the fact that he is so awesome in so many other ways. He basically dissed the girl by text tonight, for what it’s worth. He screen-captured the interchange for me. For serious.)
Little Bro is DELIGHTFUL in oh so many ways, but I do fear that a) I have way too much influence over his thoughts about relationships and b) that he will never be able to communicate verbally with a woman.
Remember letters? Then came the phone. Talked with my sister last weekend for 90 minutes; she is 8000 miles away. We are both over 60. We also do Facebook. The young people use texting. We call this evolution. Texting is powerful.
Don’t ignore texting. “Texting 4 Health @ Stanford University Using SMS to improve health behavior” is sophisticated approach to improve health almost globally.
Oh, I don’t ignore texting – if I did, then I wouldn’t have done it for a 3-hour period with Little Bro on Sunday
But I do think that it has limitations. It’s not that I object to another medium for communication – texting is GREAT for things like “I’m running late” or “OMG, I need to tell you about what just happened” or “Made it home.” It’s just not great for a lengthy convo about emotions and the potential to be boyfriend girlfriend. The phone is IDEAL for that sort of thing – better than letters (which have too much lag time in between each person’s contribution), better than email (too much possibility for confusion and miscommunication), better than text (too brief, and also with the same pitfalls as email), and BETTER THAN IN-PERSON, because it’s easier to talk about feelings without the other person all up in your grill. I’m willing to grant that time marches on with modes of communication, but give me a phone conversation about this sort of crap any day, rather than a 2-day series of texts or trying to organize a face-to-face convo via text, in spite of busy schedules.
I don’t text, hardly ever. What bugs me is that people who find this out consider me a luddite. I’m not. I just think the medium is reductionist for anything but the briefest communications (like those you point out in your post), and I don’t think it adds anything.
Don’t expect little bro to call his girl. Expect him to call ON her, wearing a shirt with a detachable starched collar and cuffs. Help him fix up his surrey with the fringe on the top, and be sure that he’s got the eisenglass curtains he can pull right down, in case there’s a change of the weather.
Just kidding. I think that if I were a teenaged girl today, I’d happy renounce heterosexuality unless and until my male peers figured out how to communicate without their tracking devices.
[Talking on the phone is] BETTER THAN IN-PERSON, because it’s easier to talk about feelings without the other person all up in your grill.
For me it’s the opposite. I find it extremely difficult to have intense, important, or complex conversations on the phone, whether they are emotional or intellectual.
And I pretty much refuse to text. I really can’t stand all that illiterate, “how r u? gud, u? c u l8r!”, shitte. I’d rather not communicate at all than communicate like that.
Re; CPP’s final point: My sister is the only person I will text with (she refuses to communicate any other way), and she does that. I am the type of person who will text things like, “Hello, sister! I was just thinking about you. Have you heard anything about X yet? Let me know, and I’ll get back to you about time. Lots of love, -n.”
As you may imagine, my text bills, when they exist, are pretty high.
I have a few friends who text all the time, but I don’t, and even dropped the unlimited texting from my cell phone plan. But if I had a little bro in my life, I’d undoubtedly go back to it. And probably if I didn’t live alone – its handy not just for “I’m running late” etc but also “pls pick up milk on the way home”. And it has nothing to do with Luddism, I’d just rather hear a voice.
CPP: in the age of smart phones, even the kiddies don’t use the texting language. You are SOOO 2005. Indeed, my little bro bragged about how great he was at grammar and punctuation in junior English to me (a little bro after my own heart!) and his text manifested that. LOVE him!
Notorious: this is why I have unlimited texts, even though I don’t have a reasonable amount of minutes. It also helps that I have a weirdo regional texting situation ( land line, internet, cell with unlimited data and texts but with very few talk minutes) that costs me LESS than most people’s phone-only situations. No, I can’t have an iPhone, but I have never cared about having an iPhone.
Texting is useful only (ONLY) with little brothers, and in dating situations. People who are dating LOVE texting, even if it’s dumb.