I want to think that the reason I keep having to have titles like this is because of my fucked up schedule, and because I’m busy, and because it’s the end of the semester.
But seriously, folks, do you notice how the frequency of my posts has gone down? Because I do. And do you wonder whether this blog (and Dr. Crazy blogging) might have jumped the shark? Because I’ve been wondering that, even if you all haven’t.
I’m officially blogging at mid-career. Well, or at after-tenure career. And most of the shit that goes on at work and is most important now that I’m not junior I can’t really blog about. And I don’t have kids to blog about, and while I suppose I could turn this into a knitting blog, doing so would be jacked up because I only knit something brand new (like a brand new pattern) seasonally or so. It’s not that I don’t have a life, but I do have a life that is so problematic to blog about in any consistent and real way. And I don’t want to just blog about “topics of the day” or something, because, frankly, most frequently the news I watch is E! News, and even when I do absorb something of greater significance other people already blog about it better or more quickly. And I don’t want to just rant about things, even though it seems that’s all I do lately.
What is the fucking point of Dr. Crazy?
Honestly, I don’t know. And that’s weird because I used always to know why I wrote as Dr. Crazy and what her point was.
Is my problem just that I’m exhausted? Maybe, but it used to be the case that I would blog more frequently – not less – in times such as these. And then I’d slow down in the summer. If I slow down from my current levels this summer that would basically mean that I won’t blog. And if I do that… Am I just out? I don’t know.
I guess I just don’t know what I really have to say in this space anymore – or what I can say in this space anymore, probably more precisely. And I’ve thought about going public with my real-life identity – would that help? I don’t think so, actually, because all the things I can’t write about as Dr. Crazy I can’t write about as real-me either.
Basically, I’m stuck for topics. I’m stuck for ideas. I’m stuck for a thesis statement, as nearly all of my students are these days, too. And there are lots of things I want to say, but I can’t say them here. And there are probably things that I don’t want to say that I could say here, but I don’t have the energy to write them.
By the way, this isn’t me quitting this blog. This is just me being angsty and confused. And tired.
So if you read this blog, why do you do that? What do you want me to write about? Why do you show up here? For you, what is the point of Dr. Crazy?
Having asked that impossible question, here’s some music I’ve been obsessed with of late. Because why not?