I thought I was deathly ill yesterday, on my eight motherfucking Tuesday of the semester. And so I looked at the syllabi for all four of the courses that I teach on Tuesday, and I realized that I could, in fact, cancel those classes. Was I sick? I don’t know. I felt like shit, even after a shower. But seriously, whether I was sick or not, I was tired. And so I called in sick. And I slept about 18 hours over a 24 hour period. (Seriously. I’m not exaggerating.) And I think I’m ok. For what it’s worth, I think seasonal allergies may also have played a role. Whatever the case, sleeping like a cat seems to have made me feel semi-normal. It also alerted me to the fact that my Tuesday schedule is so motherfucking crazy. I mean, I know this, objectively, but I really understood that fact personally yesterday, when I went back to bed at 9 pm, before I’d normally have arrived home from my teaching day. Note to people in charge of faculty schedules everywhere: a schedule in which a faculty member teaches from 9 am to 9 pm is fucked-the-fuck up. And students suffer. And also, hey there, conservatives who think that professors aren’t doing an honest day’s work. Fuck you.
Anyway, during my many, many hours of sleep, I was able to rest up enough to reckon with my hair. I haven’t had a hair cut since January 3rd, not by intention but rather because I’ve not had a moment to worry about my hair. So Historiann did a post about hair recently. One that is about many bigger ideas than the ones I will put forth here.
But so here’s the thing. I’ve been thinking about my (short) hair, in part because I am sick of my hair right now. The fact that I’m sick of it is evidenced by the fact that I’m resorting to what I like to think of as “the barrettes of the 1990s.” Should a 37-year-old-woman really be wearing barrettes? And also: isn’t this just the ponytail of the short hair? HIDEOUS!
But the other part of why I’m thinking about my short hair is because of this. Apparently, Michelle Williams, who has amazing short hair, believes that this is unattractive to men. And then I had a conversation with my mother in which she wondered whether men might think I’m a lesbian because of my hair. And then I read this article about sweet Emma Watson.
Let me just interject that I only wear short hair when I feel like I am amazing and sexy and fabulous, to men. And let me also interject that my mother insists that I should only wear short hair because I’m most beautiful with it. These worries, on the part of me and my mother, have everything to do with the fact that I’m in my late-30s and straight and single and I have not produced a grandchild.
But so anyway, I’ve been worried. But during my “Am I sick or tired?” interlude over the past day I watched a VH1 Classic episode of “Behind the Music” on Pat Benatar. And then I saw Olivia Newton John’s “Let’s Get Physical” video. And also? Let’s think also about Charlize Theron’s Dior ad that’s all over the place. In other words, there are clearly sexy ladies who have short hair. So what is my PROBLEM?!?!
On the one hand, my problem is February. I’m sick of everything right now. Also, my problem is that my hair MUST. BE. MORE. BLONDE. Which has nothing to do with length. But also my problem is with the fact that there are a bunch of unimaginative motherfucking fucks whose version of sexy was invented by idiots without an imagination (or/and pornographers). And do I give a shit what they think? Probably not.
But I’m really happy that my hair will be super more blonde next week. Because February is kicking my ass.
The thing I think is hard about short hair is that when you’re sick of it, it’s hard to do much to change it except cut it even shorter (which isn’t usually a solution). I mean, I can always cut a couple inches off my hair and feel like I’ve made a change (without really making a major change), but if going longer is your change, waiting for hair to grow is … unsatisfying.
I do think the anti-short hair thing is bogus. I personally don’t like Michelle Williams’s hair, but then, I don’t really like Michelle Williams. But I like Carey Mulligan and Emma Watson with short hair. And women should be able to wear short hair without being considered unattractive or (god FORBID) a lesbian!!! (Mostly because I think the short hair = lesbian thing is so stupid and stereotypical and limited.)
All that said: the few times that I have had short hair, I have had a lingering fear of looking like a boy. Which, if you know me, isn’t really possible. But it was a weird gut feeling I found it hard to shake.
I also think we’re in a particularly long-hair moment right now, society-wise; when I was in college LOTS of people had short hair (okay, it was Flock of Seagulls hair, but still). I know almost no one I see on a daily basis who has short hair right now.
New Kid makes some really great points (except the one about Michelle Williams, who clearly looks beautiful and amazing with short hair.) I would paraphrase her thusly and just say that “the long hair = teh sexxay thing is so stupid and stereotypical and limited.”
Do you really want to be with men who are only into your hair, long, short, or in-between? I’m guessing NO! Buy yay on the blonde–it’s a great look for spring and summer!
I just cut off all my hair because I’m tired of Sir John begging me to cut it. I like it long, he loves it short, sure, it’s my hair, but you know what? Life is short, he’s awesome, why not make him happy? I think it does look rather butch, but what the hell, that just lets me mess with people’s heads, which is generally a plus. And it dries in 5 minutes. Anyway, it all depends on the men. They are not all the same (just like women–who knew?), and they do not all like the same things.
Very true not all men prefer long hair. My husband and I met when I had very short hair: I was a competitive swimmer and in the pool about 4 hours a day, so super short was definitely the way to go. Like Sir John with Dame Eleanor, he still likes my hair better short after more than 20 years together. However, my hair is naturally fairly thick and curly, and the shorter it is the curlier (I’m Caucasian of Irish descent, so there aren’t really racial or ethnic identity questions associated with what I do or don’t do with my curly hair). I think at the age I am now my hair looks too young and rather unprofessional instead of cute in a very short and curly style, so I wear it medium length. The other deal with very short hair is, at least for me, I have to commit to haircuts every 3-4 weeks to maintain it, because my hair grows ridiculously fast, and a short cut with actual style tends not to work once it gets past the optimal length for the cut. Medium length hair allows me to go longer between cuts without my hair looking overly messy.
To be mostly facetious, I would say that this: “the fact that I’m in my late-30s and straight and single and I have not produced a grandchild”
Has more to do with having a Ph.D. (and the kind of personality traits, lifestyle, and location circumstances that go along with it) than short hair.
I had a friend in graduate school who was horrified at hearing my boyfriend say “I don’t really like negcap’s new haircut” (for reasons not have to do with shortness, though). She just didn’t understand that the follow up to that, “but its her hair and I love her and she does what she wants with it so whatevs,” was actually more important to me than my partner liking my hair.
Thanks for reminding me that I need to reschedule my haircut. And, some days, you just need to sleep. Don’t worry about what anyone thinks of your hair. Wear it how you like it. It’s only hair. Most of the time, it will grow back.
Barrettes kicke motherfucken asse!
So … today, I looked at my hair, now somewhere between a bob and a page-boy, and realized that the last time I had it cut was right before the semester started. And that it was a mess. And I picked up a barrette, and pulled the front part of my hair back…
I really, really miss my short hair. LDW really liked it short, which was a bonus, too. But I decided to see what would happen, and all of a sudden, people started complimenting me on my hair. Apparently, it makes me “less severe,” and “less intimidating.” So … short hair… do you want to be intimidating??
All I want is very, very, very long hair and I want it fast. No……..I don’t want any fake hair. I want my own. And I need to know what nutrients works best for me to reach my hair growth goals…..besides the usual, “Biotin” Pre-Natal Vits” Hair, Skin & Nails”, etc. what extra nutrient could enhance the hair growth fast? Thanks in advance!