Today I was kind of exhausted, but it was alright. The good news was that I realized that I’d miscalculated yesterday and I didn’t actually have two batches of papers coming in today – just one. Huzzah! The one batch I’d thought was coming in today is coming in on NEXT Tuesday! Which means only two batches of papers to come in this week, plus a test on Thursday, and then a paper and a journal coming in next week. Ah, sweet, sweet reprieve. I am a master of synchronized syllabus design!
At any rate, in spite of the fact that I was sort of off today, I’m still feeling great about the teaching. Today I read drafts from the comp class, and they are all decent. I’d say there are only a handful of students I’m concerned about in there, but even with those, I’m hoping that they can pull it out in the final draft. And I read through all of the other short papers (a 1-pager that really kicks their asses) from the undergrad theory class, and I’m overall really, really pleased with them. I’d say that there are only 4 or so who are in the A-range, but historically the first round of this assignment produces not a single A, so this is better than I could have hoped for. And the only ones who will fail the assignment are ones who didn’t hit all of the requirements of the assignment, which is good news, too, as this is a directions problem and not an indication of their ability to succeed overall in the course. (Well, unless they fail to learn to follow directions, but that’s not about my teaching of the material, or, ultimately, about the design of the assignment, which the rest of the students were able to follow.)
I’m down one more student in my grad class, which leaves me at 6, which I don’t love, honestly. I know that students drop for all sorts of reasons, which have nothing to do with the course itself, but I’d have liked to have remained at 7. Basically, I think there are two issues in play with the enrollments in this particular course. First, it’s the first time I’m teaching this particular course. Second, I took this course over at the last minute from a colleague who… Well, let’s just say that this colleague would have taught the course with a reader and a textbook, and I’m teaching it with something like 6 full theoretical texts as well as additional required readings as well as supplementary readings. Because it’s a motherfucking grad class, not an undergraduate survey. And because, even though I’m kicking their asses, I believe that they can do it. And I am committed to helping them do it. But “they” – and by “they” I mean the students in my program who don’t know me – don’t appear to realize that my point is to push them not until they break but until they break through. Whatever the case, I feel really good about the dynamic between the six who remain. And I feel like they are going to come out on the other side of this really and truly transformed as thinkers, which is what I think the point of graduate work, even at a crappy regional university, should be. I suppose I’m just disheartened that this doesn’t seem to be what everyone thinks that the point of graduate work should be. And I’m disappointed that …
Aw, I’m being a whiny bitch. I’m disappointed about the culture of the grad program for exactly the same reasons that I’m disappointed by the culture of the undergrad program. I’m disappointed because there isn’t consistency among my colleagues about our students’ capabilities, and I’m disappointed because the students often seem to prefer instructors who believe that they are not capable of excellence. And when I say “excellence” I don’t mean perfection, nor do I mean “excellence” as some objective and immutable truth. I mean “excellence” for them, according to what they can handle.
But I can tell you, and this relates to all of the four courses that I’m teaching, that where I’m doing a better job is that I’m really listening to my students a lot more and I’m reassuring them a lot more, mainly because I’m devoted to the work that I’m doing as a teacher, and I think that this is having a positive effect on the amount that my students are learning. It’s not that I think that I’m “supposed” to be nurturing or something because I’m a female professor. It’s that … how do I write this appropriately? I guess it’s that I’ve reached this point in my teaching where I really believe that learning needs to be nurtured, in spite of the fact that I’m a female professor. In other words, you need to commit to your students, and do what’s best for them. Which seems like a really simple thing, but I think a lot of times we can mistake rigor for being inaccessible. Or, well, I guess I have made that mistake. Early in my teaching career, I made that mistake because I wanted to be “authoritative”. Recently, I’ve made that mistake because I’ve been pulled out of the classroom and toward bullshit service stuff. There’s no time for nurturing when you are run ragged with committee work.
So I feel good right now that I’m really fostering the learning of my students and supporting them. That can only happen when I have time – when I make the time – to do that.
So that’s this Tuesday’s report. And now I need to get ready to sleep the sleep of the exhausted.
I’ve already had 4 withdrawals this semester. I guess I am just really MEAN!!
I finished grading my first (review) problem set yesterday and was so disappointed with the grades. (Esp. since: 3 weeks to do stuff they learned last semester, two recitation sections, 3 weeks of office hours etc.) The kids who took it seriously did well, but about half the class just punted it (like, didn’t answer the question, “What topic are you choosing for your presentation?” much less the more difficult questions). The remaining problem sets are MUCH harder than this one, as are the exams, so this was a chance to boost their grade up, but a good portion of the class chose to start the semester with a C or D.
But I looked at the grades for the last time I taught the class, and it was the same distribution for the review problem set, and in the end the lowest final grade in that class was a B. So hopefully this will serve as another wake-up call.
“I’m disappointed about the culture of the grad program for exactly the same reasons that I’m disappointed by the culture of the undergrad program. I’m disappointed because there isn’t consistency among my colleagues about our students’ capabilities, and I’m disappointed because the students often seem to prefer instructors who believe that they are not capable of excellence.”
Oh my god, yes!! And I teach our masters capstone class, so I’m also trying to break this culture in the last semester!! (also in other classes before, but reaching a narrower group of students).
I’m disappointed about the culture of the grad program for exactly the same reasons that I’m disappointed by the culture of the undergrad program. I’m disappointed because there isn’t consistency among my colleagues about our students’ capabilities, and I’m disappointed because the students often seem to prefer instructors who believe that they are not capable of excellence. And when I say “excellence” I don’t mean perfection, nor do I mean “excellence” as some objective and immutable truth. I mean “excellence” for them, according to what they can handle.
Yup. I know that feeling pretty clearly. *fistbump* I’m currently engaged in a stealthy project to broke this culture over my knee, both for new students and departmental majors. It’s hard but satisfying, isn’t it so?
Er, “break this culture.” Knew I shouldn’t have gone commenting on blogs with two glasses of wine in me.
I’m fortunate in that I am happy with the culture of our grad program, mostly. Although there are frustrations in always teaching the methods course (seriously – it is hard work to drag students, year after year after year, through readings that are good for them but gets them all in their heads. We use liberal doses of humour and they bond as they work through it, but it is exhausting all around.
As for the bit about nurturing: I get what you mean. I’m all about supporting students as learners but, when it comes to other stuff in their lives, that’s usually better left to student services who have the professional skillset to assist. This way we can be there for the students in our areas of expertise instead of flailing and failing to support them outside of it.